Written by Lost Property Ambassador, Ashleigh De Souza

Confidence is my new sexy, and I’ve never felt so good.

Do your ears recoil at the sound of your own recorded voice?

Ugh, gross.. right?

Funny thing is everyone else seems to like it and thinks the recording is clearly you.

We’ve all done it, puberty hits and we’re confused. Next thing you know you now hate your hair type, gawky features, size, body structure, everything right down to your chubby big toe! And when we hone our focus on all the things that are ‘wrong’ with us it feels like the whole world is watching, judging, breathing down our necks.

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This is where we form and reinforce to ourselves, a poor body image. So malignant in its growth, and so hard to defeat if we let it take hold. We become so consumed by this self hate that we can no longer locate where all this started. These thoughts can lead to mental illnesses which in turn makes it so much harder to grow self love back.

The most common of these is BDD. Body dysmorphic disorders mean that you truly believe you have a defect in your appearance (often minor or un-observable to others).

We tend to obsess over these perceived faults, how to hide or fix them, to the point at which we can hinder ourselves socially as we pull back to avoid being seen by others, feeling ashamed and anxious of our flaws.

BDD was a particularly strong front that swept most of the 90’s and 00’s kids. With bone thin, being THE look, and Victoria’s Secrets Models to inspire your arduous, twice daily workouts. Shows like ANTM showed us how to band together in unhealthy and exclusive groupings to make ourselves feel better by bringing others down. We should never be shaming others for not being ‘right’, that’s the type of damage that can be so hard to undo.

But now it’s time to change those mindsets. YOU are beautiful just the way you are, and it’s time to start believing it. Empowerment IS the new sexy. You know those days where just walking down the street is an effort? Where you feel shunned or judged by every glance thrown your way? Feels pretty horrible right? No one can change the way that feels except you. It’s a lot of responsibility and some of us don’t feel ready, but now is the time to start working on it. It’s time to shed the little girl skin and emerge as strong, independent women. Imagine on a ‘bad’ day when you feel pummeled by every look, every glance in your direction. Now, take a second to reflect, ask yourself, is your response reactive? Is it helping? Is it making you feel good AT ALL?? Now, clear your mind, lift your head, grow tall, if you can’t look around look straight ahead, but look up. And yeah, it’s going to be hard, but that fake confidence that you are emanating, with practice, will slowly shift to actual confidence. You don’t have to believe me but I encourage you to prove me wrong 😛

There are days when things just work. I can rock any outfit, fit into that dress I’ve wanted too, messy hair? Who cares! There are also days when I could burn my whole wardrobe and myself down with it. Funny thing is, I can still fit that dress, my hair still looks messy, it’s actually no different to any other day.

What is different is some days I allow the insecurities to flow in. Instead of sitting with those feelings and trying to understand their roots, I take a back seat and let them crush me. Don’t let it get that far, it’s so far back. Amiright?! I’ve learnt that no one else can actually help me until I am ready to help myself. Nothing will eventuate with the help of others unless I’m ready, until I take up the battle. Fighting through the hate is strength, I’m asking you to look past the flaws with determination and dress yourself in confidence. That is self love girls and it’s the hottest thing this summer.

Self love is new to me, I’m still learning, but so are so many other girls. Talk to girls, get to know them. Share with each other what you like about them. Let’s build each other up instead of breaking each other down. Let’s hold our arms open at the other end of the street for those girls who are trying to hold their heads high on a bad day and let’s use our words to support one another. Let’s love ourselves first before we lust after others qualities. Everything about you is you, you might still hate wobbles, or handles, or the sound of your laugh but, wear them with pride, know self love is a journey, it’s something you need to fight for so get out of your own way.

Confidence is my new sexy, and I’ve never felt so good. <3

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Lost Property Clothes Swap

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